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I miss the friendship.
I miss the fun times.
I miss the calls and texts everyday.
I miss the gossip.
I miss…I miss..
I miss everything.
It doesn’t seem fair that it all stopped.
I tried to stop it from happening.
It doesn’t seem fair that it all changed.
I tried to stop it from changing.
It was subtle at first.
The calls became less.
The return texts became days later.
The calls became days later.
The visits became weeks later.
It’s out of my control.
It makes me angry!
But anger isn’t the answer. Love is.
I had to remember the love and use that to let you go.
Why chase after, why sit and wait for, someone who doesn’t feel the same.
You can love from afar. You can always wish them well.
And that’s what I have to do….from afar.
Who knows why some friendships last a…
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I felt weird.
I felt strange.
I didn’t know what was happening to me.
I got scared.
I tried to stay calm.
It was getting the best of me.
It was happening.
There was nothing I could do to stop it.
It was consuming me.
The diagnosis was in.
I had to stop everything immediately.
Until further notice.
And so it began.
The journey I will never forget.
The feeling and non feeling I will never forget.
This wasn’t happening TO me.
It was borne out of ME.
It was time to correct it.
And time to correct me.
When it gets tough.
You have to be tougher.
When It get tough.
You have to look inward.
You’re messy! You’re disorganized. You’re unorganized. You have no order to things in your home. You’ve never had a system in place.
You are always late to things because you spend all your time trying to find things.
You claim you know where everything is..in your mess.
YOU can change and/or modify ALL of that!! It’s not your sentence for life, you can get help and work on those things and get organized.
And at the same time,you shouldn’t feel any guilt or shame!! You are who you are and its not about shaming you to get organized. Its about embracing who you are and how you move thru life and knowing that you have the power to make the life you want!!!