1- Smile– A smile sends the message “I like you.” When you smile at someone, they have a hard time not returning the smile. A smile triggers a small endorphin release in the brain, which promotes a feeling of well-being. In other words, when you smile, you feel good about yourself. This supports the notion that people will like you if you make them feel good about themselves.
2- It’s About Them– Empathic statements keep the focus on the other person. Because people are typically focused on themselves, they feel good about themselves when others make them the center of attention. Empathic statements capture a person’s verbal message, physical status, or emotional feeling, and, using parallel language, reflects that verbal message, physical status, or emotional feeling back to that person. Avoid repeating back word for word what the person said. The basic formula for constructing empathic statements is “So you…” This basic formula keeps the focus on the other person and away from you. We naturally tend to say something to the effect, “I understand how you feel.” The other person automatically thinks, “No, you don’t know how I feel because you are not me.” The basic formula ensures that the focus of the conversation remains on the person you are talking to.
For example: Linda: I’ve been really busy this week. Me: So you didn’t have much free time in the last few days.
Once the basic formula for empathic statements has been mastered, more sophisticated empathic statements can be constructed by dropping “So you…”
For example: Linda: I’ve been really busy this week. Me: Free time has been hard to come by these last several days.
3. Flattery Can Get You Somewhere: The most effective way to flatter people is to allow them to flatter themselves. This technique avoids the problem of appearing insincere when complimenting someone. When people compliment themselves, sincerity is not an issue and people rarely miss an opportunity to flatter themselves. Consider the following examples:
For example: Me: Linda, how do you manage to stay in shape with your busy schedule?
Try these when meeting someone for the first time or the tenth time. Of course, overall chemistry plays a part, but these are 3 great tips to hopefully ensure people liking you.